Has 21st Century Dating Ruined the Purity of Love?

Before we start discussing about the purity of love, we should know what love really means. According to the Oxford Dictionary love is a strong feeling of affection and/or sexual attraction for someone. In simple words it’s a feeling of togetherness, completeness, and happiness of knowing that that someone is always going to be there for you. Here what we have talked about is ‘true’ love. But is this actually what we see around us? Had today’s relationships been so strong, we wouldn't have to see so many break ups and divorces. I agree there used to be a time when people were in deep, true love and would do just about anything for their sweethearts. They would go to any extent and face even the hardest of situations to be together. But now it’s all a story of the past. In the 21st century where the youth (lovers I mean) are guided by the episodes of ‘Splitsvilla’, ‘Dare 2 Date’, etc, words like ‘selfless’ and ‘true’ prefixed to ‘love’ are only phrases found in the dictionary and fairy tales.


Let’s take a look at a common scenario in today’s world: the typical boyfriend – girlfriend relations that start from your high school years. Until a few years back, all such relations were either termed as friendship or infatuation. But that’s not the case anymore. They believe its love and keep no limits to their relations until one morning when they can’t adjust with or tolerate or get bored of each other and break up. If two people who were in love decide to break up and remain as best friends, then it means that they are either still in love or that they never were in love. Why do you think this happens? Why do people who once were in a relationship, decide to break up? Why do they then remain as good friends? Is that really possible? Why did they fall in love in the first place? There we come to a question, “Why do people fall in love?” But before we answer that, lets first take a look at 21st century love.


Nowadays what we see around isn’t called love people. You might then say it’s called dating. Well, I agree its more of dating. By dating what you mean might be a gal and a guy going out together so that he can check out the gal’s sex appeal and she can figure out the guy’s bank balance. But when I say dating, I man DATEing – where a guy’s calendar shows: May 1 – Asha: 6pm at The Palace, May 4 – Zareen: 8:30pm at The Intercontinental Regency, May 6 – Cathy: 7pm…. and so on, and a gal’s diary is nothing better.


“A Lover’ Diary” is a series of books printed and published every 3 months since 1968. As the name tells us, each of these issues talk about a love story. The entire story – from where they first met till how it all ended tragically or how they lived happily ever after. The first 100 issues had about 200-300 pages each, but the latest issue published in October 2011 had just 10 pages. An entire love story to be written in just 10 pages, you might think it’s a tough job. But after reading the below description of the book, I’m sure you would say it might have been a tough job to fill those 10 pages!! Here’s what each page was printed with: Page 1 and 2 had the publisher’s and author’s details; page 3 was the contents page; page 4 had the prologue (how they first met, or to be precise, how he first saw her with her then boyfriend); page 5 – the proposal (it was so short that in spite of increasing the font size, half the page had to be left blank); pages 6, 7 and 8 described their first date (detail description of what she wore and how sexy she looked and their first kiss and so on. I think the detailing was too good that more than ½ a million copies were sold in the US alone); page 9 spoke about their fist fight the next day and their break up that night. Hey but don’t think the story had a sad ending. Page 10 was the epilogue which says the next morning that gal was happy with her new boyfriend and the guy was busy planning his next date! What a beautiful LOVE story!!


That’s it folks, these days love is just a plain, name sake relationship between a flirt and a fool. There are two versions of this fact:-


The Guy Flirt & Gal Fool:
Let’s take a look at the most common case, where the guy is the flirt and a very innocent gal gets fooled. He might be a good looking guy who makes maximum use of his looks; or might be one of those rich, spoilt kids who would do anything to make a gal fall for him. His dialogues are very emotional and sound realistic that any gal would believe him. The gal feels like she’s his princess, not knowing that she’s not his only one. He just has to flatter her about her beauty, smartness, etc and repeat the same lines to every other gal he meets.


The Gal Flirt & Guy Fool:
This is a very recently observed type of love story. What lead to its discovery? Too many incidents of the above type just made the gals get a bit smarter and they decided to switch the sides of the coin. Usually gals go with a guy so that she gets noticed in a crowd – that is usually in the above case. But here, the guys are innocent souls who fall prey to her charm. She gets to chose things. She’ll loot the guy, who thinks the more money he spends on her, more true would be her love towards him. 


Though these are contrasting versions, they have few things in common. They need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to show off in front of others. Money plays more importance than feelings. The flirt’s main weapon is the same in both cases: their talent in lying perfectly in any unexpected situation.


Are you wondering how the whole thing started in the first place? A guy or gal plays the role of a fool in their first relationship. They get ditched by a flirt and from the next relation onwards, they play the flirt and make use of a fool. It’s a cycle that goes on and on. And to think whether the first flirt was a guy or a gal is more like asking which came first: the chicken or the egg?!!


Coming back to our question, “Why do people fall in love?” You might give me a million reasons for that. You might say two people fall in love coz they are really fond of each other, or they spend a lot of time together, or they know each other really well, etc. If you take a closer look at some comman reasons, you'll realize a few things. You love someone coz you love yourself. You dont want to be alone in life. You need someone in life. You need a shoulder to cry. You want someone to listen to you. You need someone to support you. In short, you love someone coz you just cant even think if living without them. If you really feel that way, then that feeling is love. And if you know you are in love then please think a million times before deciding to break up. Coz you need them more than how much they need you. Hope you have a happy love life. And those who are single - go get a life! What is life without love!!

Heaven's Waiting Room

This world is more like an exam hall.

Every situation is a question on your paper.

No copying or skipping. No preparations at all.

What you decide to do is your answer.

You never know what the future might bring

or when this exam's last bell might ring.

You walked into the hall - empty handed and alone.

You may take nothing but your deeds when you go.

The time you get to stay in the hall is unknown.

When it’s time, there isn't a choice to say 'no'.

For the people around you, it might be hard to believe,

but once the bell goes, you must prepare to leave

and go far away from this virtual world,

leaving behind a bunch of memories,

broken promises and dreams unfulfilled,

to a world of no more fear or worries.

'Sorry's and 'Thank You's yet to be said

in a coffin you'll be lying, helpless and dead.

Up, above the layers of cloudy blankets,

there you'll be at Heaven's Waiting Room,

eagerly awaiting your final results,

at heaven's gate on the day of doom,

guarded by winged angels in white

with golden hallows - so bright.

Getting through those gates is a really tough job,

coz you'll be questioned by God on the Day of Judgement.

By then it would be too late to repent, plead or sob.

This is the reality we must all confront.

There'll be a day when everything comes to a pause.

Please do give it a serious thought because,

we all have to go to Heaven's Waiting Room someday

and give answers for our deeds and lies.

Just pray that the angels would make us a way

through the golden gates of paradise.

And for all those who've walked out before us,

"May your souls always rest in peace”

                                                                                                                          Idea Credits: Shabil Nazir

This is written for my dearest friend and bro and much more - safwan rayeez... May your soul rest in peace! ♥

A Toast on Our Engagement

On our engagement, here’s a toast:
We are a couple made in heaven!
Honey, I treasure your love the most
Out of all that God has given.


I was fourteen when I first met you.
We became friends and then best friends.
Eventually our relationship grew,
Don’t know if it was the feel or the scents.


Break ups, patch ups and fights - 
They only strengthened our relation.
No dates, or flowers, or candle lights,
But you still created a good impression.


Distance was never a matter to worry about,
As our hearts were always together amour.
Many a times I’ve wished to shout out
Loud that I loved you much more.


I’m eighteen now and already engaged.
It feels like I’m too young for this.
All these years I was more like caged,
And now suddenly I’m gonna have my first kiss.


My lips are curved more than the moon,
When you say - "You're my heart, my life".
Don’t you think things are happening too soon?
Few years hence, I would be your wife.


Then we would start fighting all day,
Have cranky kids running around our home,
At night, on bed, together we lay -
Just happiness, love and shalom!

Attention readers: im not yet engaged. Will let you people know before i exchange rings!!

To Mom With Love

My mom might never read this.
There are things for me yet to confide.
But I'm still writing these lines
coz i ache a lot inside.

"I don't mean what I say out of anger
and I know my words mostly hurt you.
I might say that I don't love you mom,
but I'm sure you know that's not true.

I love you mom.
I really do.
Though I might not
say it openly to you.

I always wanted to be a better daughter.
Just like the doll you expect me to be.
Even if people say that I'm chicken hearted,
with your ways I would always agree.

I love you mom.
I really do.
Though I might not
show it out to you.

Mom I never wished to lie to you.
Circumstances forced me to do so.
I only wanted to keep you at peace.
And thats all I want you to know.

I love you mom.
I really do.
Though I might have
sometimes lied to you.

I'm sorry mom for all the tension I've given you;
for all those sleepless nights, worries n tears.
Sorry that I took you for granted,
inspite of you keeping away all my fears.

I love you mom.
I really do.
Though I might have
at times hurt you.

I wouldn't have told you everything,
but that's coz I didn't want to hurt you.
All my life I've just wanted you to be happy.
I love you mom and I really wish u knew.

I love you mom.
I really do.
Though I might keep
secrets from you.

I didn't do anything on purpose mom.
Its just that God designed my life this way.
I'm sorry for all that I've done mom.
And I'm sure you would forgive me someday."

I'm sorry mom...... With Love - Chubby ♥

Never Let Fear Make Your Decisions

This has nothing to do with my persoanl life..... just a pice of inspiration to soar above your fears!

There are a lot of sick emotions in this world, but perhaps one of the worst is fear. When I think of all I failed to do in my life because my fears got the best of me, I ache inside. I remember quitting my 7th standard chess team after one match because I was afraid of losing the competition. I’ll never forget refusing to be the head girl, inspite of getting a chance to because I was too scared of speaking in front of the whole school. I never asked doubts in class, not because I didn’t have any, but because I was afraid they might be too silly and the class might laugh at me. Throughout my life there have been classes I never took, friends I never made and competitions I never took part - all because of this ugly, yet very real ,’fear’.


  Acting in the face of fear will never be easy, but afterward you’ll be glad you did it. During my final year at my high school, I decided to be a bit more daring. Not that I wasn’t scared now, but I wanted to enjoy the last year of my schooling to the maximum. All these years I’ve been a good student, abiding by the rules of the school and having a very good reputation among teachers. Now was the time to break the rules and live my school life in full swing. I used to bunk classes, chew gum during class, and even copy during class tests. But somewhere inside I felt guilty of my doings.


I was selected again to be the head girl of my school. This time I didn’t want to leave it totally as it was my last chance to be a part of the student council. I thought for a few days and finally got an idea. I told my teachers that I would like to be the house captain of my house. That was the best post for someone like me. Being a house captain, I would be in the council and wouldn’t have to speak in public. When it comes to competitions, I wouldn’t have to take part myself but just convince others to participate. And most of all, I got a reason to bunk my classes without feeling guilty!


First few months went very easy as there weren’t many events in school and I could show off wearing my badge. Even during the Sports week I just had to hold the flag and lead the march. I used to feel great being the house captain, that too without any scary situations. I was thinking why this idea didn’t strike me earlier, but its better late than never. Around October that year we had our youth festival - the time when I get to bunk maximum number of classes and have loads of fun.  First week went well. We got enough participants for all events. Teachers were pretty happy with my work and nobody asked me why I was bunking.  At the end of the week my house mistress came to me and said that we were one participant less for group song. There were just 3 days left for the competition and nobody was ready to join on short notice. I was the house captain and had to do something about this. It was the last day to give the team lists and I was worried. My house mistress came to me and said that she had solved the problem by giving my name for the event. My heart skipped a beat. The thought of singing in front of an audience made me physically sick. “Does she know that I’m hardly a bathroom singer?“ “Do I really have to sing on stage?“ A million unanswered questions were in my head at that very moment. There was  no way I could get out of this as in the past I was the one who would often motivate other students by advising them never to let their fears make their decisions. Now… I was up to bat! If I didn’t agree to sing, our team would not be qualified. I thought why not step outside my comfort zone and give it a try?


With whatever little courage I had, I went for the practice sessions. I knew the lyrics of the song before itself and all the team members were my friends. My confidence level went slightly up. The practice sessions went really well. My confidence reached a level at which I could sing in front of my whole class without fear. All thanks to my team mates and teachers. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face an unknown audience.


Courage was what I kept rehearsing in my mind on the final dreaded day. All the teams were practicing in the green room. Listening to them, my fear went high and confidence stepped down. As I stepped onto the stage, I kept convincing myself that this cant be bad! I opened my eyes and saw the judges waiting to find faults with my singing and the largest audience I’ve ever faced. Standing on stage, 3 million light years outside my comfort zone, all that inspired me was ‘courage, courage and courage’. We started off well and sang even better. I could read that from the smiles on the faces in front. Near the end of the song is a really high note. It had always been a difficult note to reach, even in practice. On stage I anticipated it with terror. But as the note approached, I thought, what the heck? Go for it!


When we bowed after the song, I could hear the crowd clap n cheer for us. It was a great feeling of happiness as ‘I’ was one among ‘us’! I don’t recall if I hit that high note or missed it. All I remember is that a few students were so embarrassed despite their best efforts they could no longer bear to look at me.


“That was great, Chubby” “Thanks a lot“, I shrugged, as I believed them. But do you know what? Although that experience nearly killed me, when I left that hall and rode back home, I was so proud of myself that I felt a great sense of personal accomplishment and I frankly didn’t care what anyone else thought about my high note. I had survived and I was proud of it. As Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb the Everest put it, “Its not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves”. So the next time you want to make a new friend, resist peer pressure, try out for a team, get involved, be yourself, or even if you want to sign in public… do it! Even when all your doubts scream out, “you’ll fail” or “don’t try!” Never let your fears make your decisions. You make them!!

The Positive and The Negative *copied*

"I got two A's," said the little boy,

His voice was filled with glee.

His father said, "If you studied more,"

"You might have gotten three."

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"

The girl called from the door.

Her mother answered sharply,

"Well I hope you swept the floor!"

"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said,

"And edged the sidewalks too."

"I hope you improved," his father said,

" On the job you usually do."

The children in the house next door,

Seemed happy and content.

The same thing happened over there,

But this is how that went:

"I've got two A's," the small boy said.

His voice was filled with glee.

His beaming father said, "That's great!"

I'm so proud you belong to me!"

"Mom, I've got the dishes done."

The girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said,

"Each day I love you more."

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said,

"And edged the sidewalks too."

His father answered "Thank you!"

"For all the helpful things you do!"

Give a hug, or thanks or praise,

For the tasks your children do,

If they're to lead a happy life,

So much depends on you.

Thank You Mother!

“Oh God! Please grant me one wish. I want my mother to love me more than my siblings. Please God, I promise I’ll always be a good boy. Please grant me my wish.” This is what Omar asked God every day after his prayers. Omar was an eight year old boy who lived with his parents, older sister Iman, aged eleven and a brother Khalid, two years younger to him.


Omar’s mother, alike every mother, loved her son a lot. She woke him up every morning, dressed him up for school, packed his lunchbox, dropped him to the bus, picked him back from school, served him food, played games with him, helped him with his studies and homework and took really good care of him. Twice a week she would cook his favourite dishes for lunch. Every night after putting him to bed, she would pack his bag, polish his shoes and iron his uniform for next morning.


In spite of his mother doing so much for him, Omar wasn’t really happy because he always thought that he was the least loved in his family. According to him, his sister being the only daughter was his father’s pet and his brother being the youngest at home, was the most loved and pampered by all. He always felt that his mother loved his siblings more and did a lot of special things for them.


Omar wished to be the apple of his mother’s eyes. Every night he used to pray to God that his mother should love him more and take better care of him. He wanted to be his mother’s favourite so his siblings would be a little jealous of him. Throughout Ramadan he prayed for just this one wish to be made true; not realizing that a mother loves all her kids equally.


One night while Omar was sleeping, he had a dream of an angel coming to him. He suddenly opened his eyes and was amazed to see a bright ray of light. At the tip of the ray was a butterfly like creature with glittery pink wings and a hallo overhead. Yes – it was an angel. Omar was slightly frightened but smiled at the magical creature he saw. He had seen pictures of fairies only in story books. With all his innocence he asked, ‘Are you one of Sleeping Beauty’s Fairy Godmothers?” The angel smiled and spoke to him in a very sweet voice, “Omar, I am Halima, an angel sent by God. God knows that you have been a good boy and He has decided to grant your wish.” “Really??” asked Omar with glee filled eyes. “Yes. Today onwards your mother will love you more than usual and you’ll feel special. Hope this makes you feel happy.” replied Halima. Soon the angel disappeared and Omar looked a bit lost. He went back to sleep.


As usual, his mother woke him up the next morning along with his siblings. When he opened his eyes he couldn’t believe that an angel had visited him the previous night. He thought of going and checking out for himself if his mother loved him more now. He watched each of his mother’s actions closely and wrote down all that she did for him. He kept writing all day, 21) Mummy played checkers with me, 22) Mummy helped me with my English paragraph writing. And so on...


At the end of the day Omar read all those points again and he felt really special. He realized that his mother polishes his shoes, but not his sister’s; she spent more time helping him in studies than with his brother; and many more such things. The happiness on his face slightly dimmed as he realized that his mother always did all these things for him. It was just that he never appreciated it. Next morning as soon as he woke up, he went up to his mother and thanked her for all that she’s done for him. In return his mother just smiled and kissed him.


We all have a mother like this. Its just that we take her for granted and don’t realize how much pain she takes for our well being. Though we forget to thank her, she continues to care for us the same way and love us more each day. She does so much for us without expecting anything in return. So stop waiting for your angel to remind you and go thank her!!

Friendship is Just a Smile Away

In the silence of the night and the stillness of my shadow, I was gazing at the night sky. It was pitch dark and I suddenly noticed a bright beam of light, peeping from behind the clouds in a corner. At that moment anybody who looked at the sky would fall in love with the moon. For a moment I felt pity for the moon being lonely though beautiful.

The rest of the world was asleep except for me and the moon, meditating on each other’s face and expressing our loneliness. 12:45 a.m. I was pretty bored that I thought of making friends with the moon. I looked up at the moon and asked her what she was doing up there, all alone, and that too so late at night.

She replied, “I’m always here watching the waves of the deep blue sea and the greenery of the earth. But one half of the world doesn’t see me and the other half shut their eyes when I come up.” But she was still shining brightly up there, all alone. I was just thinking, why do we people feel so sad when someone close to us do not care about us? Though sad at heart, why can’t we face the world with a smile, just like the moon?

I said to the moon, “But there are few people who keep gazing at you all night. How can you feel lonely when they admire you that way?” I continued, “They even risk their lives and come to space just to click a photo of yours. You should be feeling like a celebrity!” The moon had a slight smile on her face. She said, “Oh! You mean the scientists behind telescopes! They look at me because they get paid for it. And the astronauts come to me for fame – from the very first Neil Armstrong. How typical of you humans! But I surely love posing for them. Ha-ha!”

How true, I thought. We humans would do anything if paid – be it staring at the moon or the sun. These days we even have to pay someone to keep secrets or make them speak the truth! Wealth and fame are all that we think of. Money is our ultimate aim and we think that money can buy everything. How can we be so greedy and materialistic? The moon continued, “But I do have friends like you, who make me smile and keep the night sky shining.” I said to the moon, “Hey, whenever you wish to smile, just pull your cheeks apart or try saying CHEESE. He he!”

Our chat flowed through a lot of topics. We spoke about my family, my school, my friends; then the moon told me about few of her friends, just like me in different countries. She spoke a lot about earth’s natural beauty and about the present day pollution. It seemed like she had a very good view of the blue planet from up there.

At 3:15 a.m. we wished each other a very good night. I saw the moon leave me and go back behind the dark clouds. We had been such good friends in just a few hours time. I promised her to meet every day... sorry, every night. I think when I left she got new company on the other side of the globe. I at least hope so.­­­­­­­­­­­

Finally I went to bed with peace. And I was content that I made my new friend smile. But nobody saw the moon smile except me, because half the world couldn’t see her, and the other half was asleep! It’s so easy to make friends. All it costs you is few hours of talking and a slightly warm smile; or in my words just say “CHEESE”!! Friendship is not a light year or even a mile far, it’s just a smile away!